It seems like I catch up on all my blogging at once. Better that than never, I guess. My last IUI did not work and I can feel my endometriosis coming back, so Justin and I decided to proceed with the doctor's recommendation of a six month hormone therapy regimen. I had my first Lupron shot yesterday. My arm is still sore. I am not really looking forward to all the side effects of menopause. Justin is particularly worried about bone loss because I am not a milk drinker, but I make sure to take my supplements and I'll drink his chocolate milk whenever he makes it (he makes the best and it's the only milk I ever drink).
I am always worried about the balance of nature and medicine. I believe that modern medicine and medical advances are here for us to use and that God wants us to use them for optimal health and happiness. But somewhere (I don't know where...maybe cloning) there is a line where people start "playing god" and doing things that aren't meant for us. Are extreme fertility treatments part of that? It's an answer that everyone needs to figure out for themselves. I have a lot of unanswered ethical questions regarding in-vitro fertilization. I hope that I won't ever need to truly grapple with them. I hope that I can have a family without going to that extreme. I hope this Lupron therapy will work.
I am also concerned about whether the measures I've already taken are too much. We discovered my endometriosis last fall. I had a few bothersome side effects, but in general, I was spared the immense pain that often accompanies that disease. I had surgery last November to clean out the endometriosis. I can feel it growing back now. And it is back with a vengeance! I am now experiencing more regular pain than ever before. It's getting progressively worse. So it just makes me wonder if I'm making things worse for my body. It's hard to know.
Justin and I have always been really open to adoption. Even before we struggled with fertility, we always wanted to adopt. We wanted a mixed family of biological and adopted children (and this was before Angie and Brad!) so we are ready to start pursuing that dream. It is not a concession at all to us, and we will continue to try to have children naturally as well. Some people I've talked to seem to think that adoption is a last resort, that bearing biological children is an obvious preference. I don't feel that way at all and that thought kind of offends me, especially if/when we do end up adopting. I would never want my child to feel that way or have anyone put those ideas in his or her mind.
Anyway, that's the latest update on that. I am dreading the menopause hot-flashes in the middle of summer. Yikes!