About 4 weeks ago, we got an email from a teenager I will call M who lives in another town an hour away. To make a long story short, one of our pass along cards got to this girl and she wanted to meet us although she was still unsure of what she wanted to do. Her 20 week ultrasound would be on November 6 where we live and she would like to meet us then. Then she found out that my hubby sometimes works in the town where she lives and she was willing to meet us sooner if we would go there. So I tagged along with my husband and we met M and had a great time. I can't imagine it going better. She said she was still unsure, but if she decided on adoption, we were the couple for her. She still wanted to see us again on November 6 when she was in town. We'd do lunch and maybe go to the ultrasound with her. So, today is November 6. And we haven't heard from M since that night four weeks ago. Although we had her phone number and left her a message on Tuesday, there was no response. She's disappeared. I knew this was a possibility. Especially since she was still unsure and was not going through an agency to help her with those decisions. And maybe we'll hear from her again in the future. But I just want to say that it sucks. I usually hold up pretty well, but I can't deny that it's disappointing.
And then there was this...
A few days ago I posted some stats on adoption and I got a pretty nasty comment posted anonymously. It shocked me when I read it, but I moderate all my comments so I just didn't publish it. My first inclination was to address every aspect of it and defend myself but I decided that it didn't matter. I don't know this person and their opinion really isn't going to change my decision to adopt and I won't be bothered by it. I have nothing to defend. And while I still feel that way, I am also feeling angry because of this. I don't feel like I have to defend myself. But I don't want to inadvertendly protect this person either by deleting their comment and pretending it didn't happen. So for all the world to read, this is what they wrote:
You might believe that adopting a child will be the same--and it might be for you, but you will always be a fake mother to the child you steal from another woman.
Why not go with God's plan, and remain childless? Just becuase you can't have a child doesn't mean you are entitled to another woman's flesh.
And here's what I have to say to that:
SHAME ON YOU. You have issues. And they are not mine. There has obviously been some pain or wrong in your past that is not my fault. Shame on you for spreading your poison. Who do you think you are to judge me under the pretense of God? Now the curtain has been pulled. Your pettiness and ignorance are exposed. SHAME ON YOU.
Life is hard enough without vicious, nasty people making it worse. I am in a mood today. Even my dogs can tell.
"It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one."
- Lawrence G. Lovasik
- Lawrence G. Lovasik