Thursday, April 16, 2009

Counting Down the Days and the Car Analogy

You may have noticed that our baby widget countdown took a large leap in days. We know for sure that the birth mom is going to have a c-section. It is scheduled for April 28 at 6:00 a.m. We'll go to Boise on the 27th so we can be in town for that. We'll meet the mother and father (maybe the other children???) at that time. And of course, we'll meet the baby. Assuming all goes well, we can take her home on April 30. I LOVE that this adoption is taking place within our state. Many adoptions don't and interstate laws are crazy and brand new adoptive parents have to stay in a hotel with a brand new baby for weeks. We're very lucky. I think we'll drive the truck. Why? Why waste the gas? Because the baby will be on a bench seat, right between us. We'll probably stop every 30 minutes just so we can hold her. 

Here is the "car analogy". I read this off this blog today and I really liked it. I will retype it though, just for myself, in case something else ever happens to that blog. 

A young woman and a young man are standing outside near a very busy street. The child they are both responsible for runs into the street. A car is coming down the street at a very fast speed and there is NO CHANCE the child won't be hit. The couple can do one of these four things:

1. They can do nothing and watch their child get hit and killed by the car. The psychological pain of this inaction will always be with them.

2. They can both jump into the road and sandwich the child between them and brace for the collision. If they stay together, there will be minimal injury to the child. But there is a 80-90% chance that they will split on impact. 

3. One of the parents can jump out in front of the car. This will save the child's life, but injuries will be substantial.

4. One or both of the parents can run into the street and push the child out of the way of the speeding car into the outstretched arms of a couple on the other side of the street. 

In all of these scenarios, someone always gets hit by the car. What would you choose?  

This scenario is a metaphor for a crisis pregnancy. The first choice represents abortion. The second choice represents a couple that tries to stay together and/or gets married because of the crisis pregnancy. The third choice represents single parenting. And the fourth choice represents adoption. Someone always gets hit by the car. What would you choose?

This is a topic that I will go into later, but ever since we started spreading the news about our upcoming adoption, we've had some judgmental comments about the birthmother/family. Comments like:

"It's her fourth kid? Oh, she's one of those."

"This baby in the womb already knows it's unwanted." 

"The mothers choose adoption just so they can get a free ride for awhile."

"How horrible. I can't believe they don't want their baby."

These comments really frustrate me. They hurt. And they aren't even about me. This couple is throwing themselves in front of the car to save their child! So when I hear a comment like that, I steer the conversation with some gentle education. I usually respond with, "It really shows their character because they value life. They chose to give the baby life. And they love this baby so much that they want it to have more than they can give it. It's proof of how much they love this child."

So, twelve more days. I can handle that. But we need a name. Please send suggestions!


Hays Family said...

Ellory,or Ellery, Ellerie, or Emery, Emerie. Is that better than Greer?

Maria said...

Wow, people are idiots aren't they. I will admit that I was surprised that this is their 4th baby, and as I thought about it, I thought, wow, this isn't a teenager who has no idea how hard parenting can be, this is a mom, a mom who knows the reality and who wants her baby to have a better reality than she can give it. How much more does she love that baby? I think a lot. Her sacrifice will be so much harder, which makes that baby so much more loved. 12 days! I can't believe you will have a baby in 12 days!!! Start waking up several times a night to prep yourself - although I'm sure you're hardly sleeping a wink as it is. I love you tons and can't wait for you!


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