Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Crying at Work


You know how tail-lights go on every time you tap the brake pedal? My tears turn on every time I have some kind of "confrontation". And I mean "confrontation" in the loosest sense possible. Telling a waiter I don't like the food. Opening up to my boss about an aspect of my job I don't like. Explaining to my husband that I need some Lara time because he's been working too late. Whatever it is, I cry. The most embarrassing situations are when I cry at work. I try to control it. And while I no longer sob with massive tears rolling down my cheeks, my eyes will turn red and watery, my nose will run, and my voice will get shaky.

Are there any ways to avoid this or overcome this? I feel like it's unprofessional. It makes coworkers/supervisors uncomfortable. I feel less credible. Is there something to control this? I have a couple things I try. If I'm just getting a bit blurry-eyed listening to something that bothers me, I fake a few sneezes. That usually covers up the watery eyes and runny nose. Or if I know I'm going in for a doozy, I chew gum. It helps keep my mouth busy and buys me time to get my voice under control. I also try to engage my left brain (logic) as much as possible. I will look to my left. I will mentally recite math equations (1 plus 1 is 2. 2 plus 2 is 4...and so on).

Do you have any secrets to keep from crying at work?

5 comments:

Maria said...

Good luck with that one! I am the biggest avoider of confrontation!!! I don't think I ever knew you hated it so bad, I've always viewed you as someone who could stand up for herself with no fear, I think you hide it really well! (At least when we were teenagers you did!) Plus, I think all your ideas are great, don't think I could add anything, I guess you could always do what I do when faced with confrontation, run away with your tail between your legs or stick your head in the sand! :)

Groff Family said...

Must be a Hays thing, I am the EXACT same way, and I think Steph is too. I absolutely hate it also, I feel like such a big baby, and I can't control it either. I don't have any magic solutions, it's just in our make up!

Melissa Giles said...

I have that problem too!!! It seems like every time I get a review at work I ball my eyes out to the point that I literally can't breath out of my nose, and it only gets worse after that if I don't calm down! I've been pretty good since the last time this happand. I think practice makes perfect. Taking a deep breath usually helps. Clenching my jaw keeps it from wobbling, and reassuring thoughts always seem to help. Tell yourself you are a good person and everything will be okay in your head, even when it isn't being said out loud. Tell yourself that they care about what you are saying.

Hays Family said...

You could go on prosac. That helped me several years ago with the every present tears at the drop of a hat.

Brad said...

Just say, "Excuse me while I go kick someone in the nuts." You will either be laughing or mad enough to dry up your eyes. (Brad)

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