Thursday, July 9, 2009
Not That Classic
intellectual. I want to be that charming, sophisticated - yet incredibly beautiful - woman who surprises you with scintillating conversation about neoclassic architecture and the geo-political ramifications of bioengineering.
I want to spend at least an hour every day in my mahogany paneled library, sitting in a plush high backed chair near the fire reading literature that shaped and changed the world.
I think classic literature is important. Perhaps even classic movies, too. And if I am ever to be important (and I would be lying if I said I didn't) then I need to be current on important stuff, right?
Lately, I've been trying to read a lot of classic books that I've never read before. To round myself out and experience these masterpieces that have touched the world so deeply. And here's my confession: most of them are so boring I have to gnaw my fingertips off to stay awake!
What is wrong with me?
Don't get me wrong...I've enjoyed some of the classics. The Count of Monte Cristo is my favorite book. I loved The Inferno by Dantes. I ate up Wuthering Heights. And Huckleberry Finn was a great read, too. Heck, I even enjoyed The Iliad and The Odyssey.
But I couldn't get through Sense and Sensibility. Fahrenheit 451. Robinson Crusoe. Seriously, is something wrong with me?
As much as I want to be a classic snob I have to confess that I'm not. I'm commercial. I like the murder-thriller-mysteries you can buy at the check out line in Wal-mart. I like flippant chick lit. I really like young adult novels about the rough teenage years.
And movies are the same way. One year Justin and I decided to watch every Oscar-nominated movie. Holy boring! Not that there wasn't some merit to those movies. Not that they weren't a good experience. But I didn't have fun. Give me some slapstick comedy or a total formula-driven rom-com instead. I'll eat it up.
I think a lot of people will agree that Oscars always go to the "weird" movies. And I think books that get labeled as classics are also a little on the "weird" side.
And now that I am acknowledging and embracing my nature, you'll find me in my mahogany panelled library in a plush high back chair sitting by a crackling fire re-reading Twilight or thumbing through the latest issue of People. And guess what? I could honestly care less about the geo-political ramifications of trashy literature!
P.S. Fifty-eight percent of adults haven't read a book since high school. That's more than half! Is it because we feel judged for liking Harry Potter better than War and Peace? If that's what it takes, dump the boring classics and get lost in something juicy, fun, and -gasp!- commercial.