Sunday, November 22, 2009

Our Family, Created By Divine Design

Justin and I met when I was a senior in high school. I had gone to Western Wyoming College to check it out and interview for a full-ride academic scholarship. I was interested in the theatre department and I met Justin. I don't remember him and he doesn't remember me, but we know we met. I had even gone to his apartment where I was introduced to some other students.

We truly met in September when I started school the next fall. We had our first official date at the end of September. We fell for each other immediately and spent every waking moment together. Several days later, we confessed our feelings for each other. It was happening too fast that it spooked me and we talked about that too. But the thing is, even though it was scary and fast, it felt right. We came up with our dating/life motto of "just let it happen." Don't force things one direciton or another. Ten days after our first date, Justin proposed to me and I accepted. We were married the following June.

We brought up our motto many times after that. Jobs. Moves. School. And more. It helps us remember that things happen for a reason and happen how they are supposed to. There are circumstances we just need to accept and be happy with. A better word for this approach might be fate. Or kismet. Or God's plan. Whatever you call it, we call it "meant to be."

Not saying that you can just be lazy and life happens in its fullest to you. Life still requires work and effort. But life can take a direction we don't plan and throw us curve balls. Like getting engaged within the first two weeks of college. Seriously, I was looking forward to playing the college field for a bit. :P

A huge trial of our faith came when we found out we were infertile. After seven years of trying we casually mentioned to our family doctor in a visit that it had been seven years with no success. He told us that was a problem. Around that same time I found a lump in my lower abdomen. To make a long story short, I have endometriosis and uterine tumors and Justin's swimmers aren't the best athletes either.

When we finally talked about adoption, our decision actually was made very easily. Again, we "just let it happen." We decided to keep proceeding with our fertility treatments. It was only logical  to finish the course of treatment we started, but we pursued adoption because in our hearts we felt it was what was meant to happen.

I could go on and on about the amazing "coincidences" that led us to the agency we used. Or looking back, how our let down by a couple of potential birth moms was really meant to be. There was one family we were working on being matched with. I was excited because it was the closest we had been to being matched, but something just didn't feel right. I ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach because I just wanted so badly to be matched. We accepted the situation even though deep down I felt bad about it. It's no surprise that we weren't matched in the end, and I felt relief because I knew it wasn't right. About a month later we were matched with two birth moms on the same day. Instead of overthinking the situation, we just let our hearts make the decision. There were no lists of pros and cons, no lengthy debates. We just individually thought about both situations and a day later, we both knew. We'd found our baby.

I know I can get verbose. The point is this. Life is messy. Life is complicated. Life can't be planned, it can only be lived and enjoyed. God has a plan and it's always harder and always better than the plans we have for ourself.

My family was brought together by divine design. It's definitely not the way I planned it - it's way better. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Amen! I'm so happy for your family!


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