Monday, March 22, 2010

A Little Peace

Look at our family timeline on the left. Notice what happened in October 2008.

I didn't blog about it at the time. Things are always uncertain with adoptions and I didn't want to publicize anything prematurely, which was probably good in this case.

In October, we had only been on the "official" adoption waiting list for a couple weeks. I got an email on our adoption account from a girl who wanted to meet with us about adopting her unborn child. She had heard about us through someone whom Justin had worked with.

We met her for dinner. What a bizarre experience. It's like a first date, but so much more awkward. We all know why we're there, but how do you bring that up? "So, you got knocked up. Can we have your unexpected baby and raise it like our own?"

But our dinner went pretty well, I think. We talked about our feelings about adoption, open adoption, agency versus private. She talked about her situation. Her past. The father. She was 18. She had already been through an abortion and didn't really want to go that route again, although she hadn't completely decided against it. She hadn't really decided on anything at all. At the end of dinner, we gave her a little photo book of us. She hugged us warmly and invited us the the 20 week ultra sound in 2 weeks.


We'd only been "officially" searching for a couple weeks and we'd already found our baby!!

Except we hadn't.

We never heard from that girl again.

We knew she was due in the middle of March. Honestly, when March approached part of me was hoping to get an email from her again saying she'd made up her mind and wanted us to have her baby.

But alas, no news.

Our worst fear was that she had decided to end the pregnancy. And it sucked that we didn't know. We prayed a lot for her. We prayed that she'd make the decision that was right for her and for the baby. And we specifically prayed that she'd honor the life within in her and give birth to this baby, no matter whether she decided to place or parent.

And then, as you all know, we found our Jocelyn in April and we have our happy ending to our adoption story. But we still wonder.

Amazing things can happen at Wal-Mart. (Some pretty crappy things can happen, too, but this isn't about that.) Saturday - yesterday - we were at Wal-Mart for our weekly trip to shopping hell. Justin turned to me and said:

"I think I just saw that girl. The one who we had dinner with last October and was thinking about adoption. She had a baby on her hip."

"Did the baby look about Joci's age?"


I couldn't help but smile.

So now we know. I am happy to know that this girl didn't turn to abortion again as a convenient way out of a bad choice. I hope she's doing well. I hope the baby is well and things are falling in place for the little family. I am grateful my prayers for that life within her were answered.

Part of me wonders if she saw us, too. If she saw the carseat on top of the cart with a sleeping baby inside. I'm sure if she did, she's feeling happy for us, too.


Jill Elizabeth said...

I SO appreciate the line "So, you got knocked up. Can we have your unexpected baby and raise it like our own?"

Because, seriously, you're all thinking it, but it's impolite to come out and say it.

And I know that if she saw you, she was happy for you. One of the couples I met with but didn't choose adopted a few months ago, and I am so glad!

Liz Smith said...

that's so great! im glad there are still stories that have happy endings. :)

kelley said...

What a sweet story. I'm excited to learn that yall adopted your little girl! I worked in adoption law for over 3 years and LOVED working with adoptive families and birthmothers. Adoption is such a wonderful experience. People always associate adoption with bad Lifetime movies and that's definitely not the case!

Meagan said...

How AWESOME! You know even though I was just a friend you told about the meeting and that she never called you back I still wondered what happened to her and the baby. I am so happy she didn't choose abortion!

Boyds said...

Goosebumps. Happy endings are the best.

Anonymous said...

It was meant to be and we got our perfect little Joci.

Grandma Z

P.S. I don't when I have prayed any harder - than during this time.


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