Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Press and Adoption

I was planning on leaving the subject of the botched Russian adoption alone. I really was. But reading the headline of this article today - I Did Not Love My Adopted Child - just made me want to say something.

There are a lot of stigmas and bad press about adoptions. I think it's kind of like air travel - it's the safest way to travel but no one really feels that way because the only time they hear about air travel in the press is when a devastating and fatal crash has occurred.

It's easy to focus on the horrifying and sensationalized adoption stories. And I know they exist. But they exist everywhere. I am just afraid that people will focus so much on the bad that they'll ignore the good. I know the bad stuff happens. I don't know what that adoptive mother was going through, but I do think she handled the situation poorly and out of desperation. And I hate the backlash that has come in the wake of the incident - all these diatribes about how adoption is just a sham and the love is never there.

I fight for adoption. Because I believe in it. I believe it makes the world a better place. I can tell you right now that Jocelyn, her birth parents, and us have benefited from adoption. That doesn't mean it was easy. But it has made our respective worlds better in certain ways. And while we can never forget that adoption is always comes from tragedy, it's like a phoenix that can rise strong and beautiful from the ashes of that tragedy.

So I just want all 23 people who follow this blog to know that I have a testimony of the goodness of adoption. It has brought out the best of so many people. We have seen an outpouring of true love from it. From our tireless caseworkers to the super supportive nurses in the hospital to a far too generous attorney...and the love and support of my friends like you. I just want you to know remember that as you read stuff in the media. Just know that not all adoptions go sour. That not all adoptive parents struggle for love. That almost all adoptions are under the radar because they are so boringly normal and blissful.

We're lucky enough to be on one of those "successful plane rides." The kind you never hear about. It isn't newsworthy. It isn't exciting. But it is so good.


Jamie Boyd said...

I got goosebumps reading this. You're amazing and your cute little family is so perfectly adorable. Thanks for the positive post.

Ashley said...

repressing the urge to smack that author.

and the idiot woman in tennesee.

people love a sensation. nobody wants to hear about "we adopted a little boy and he was wonderful." they want to hear, "we adopted a little boy and it turns out he was hitler's midget clone and tried to strangle our turtle."


this whole thing has made me ill.

Jill Elizabeth said...

Thank you! You said what I wanted to say, but better than I could have.

Alicia said...

I agree that it is a tragedy that the press does not focus on the positive stories regarding adoption. There are three sisters in our branch that are adopted and we had an Omaha author come to a RS meeting and talk about how she adopted kids. I think they had 7 or 8 biological kids but didn't feel done (even though she couldn't have more) so they adopted 10 or 12 more. I'm not kidding here. They were from all over the world, mostly kids with some sort of disability, none babies that I can remember. She wrote a book about it and it was fantastic to hear about the love in their home. Adoption is love and you are doing a great job.


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