I was planning on leaving the subject of the botched Russian adoption alone. I really was. But reading the headline of this article today - I Did Not Love My Adopted Child - just made me want to say something.
There are a lot of stigmas and bad press about adoptions. I think it's kind of like air travel - it's the safest way to travel but no one really feels that way because the only time they hear about air travel in the press is when a devastating and fatal crash has occurred.
It's easy to focus on the horrifying and sensationalized adoption stories. And I know they exist. But they exist everywhere. I am just afraid that people will focus so much on the bad that they'll ignore the good. I know the bad stuff happens. I don't know what that adoptive mother was going through, but I do think she handled the situation poorly and out of desperation. And I hate the backlash that has come in the wake of the incident - all these diatribes about how adoption is just a sham and the love is never there.
I fight for adoption. Because I believe in it. I believe it makes the world a better place. I can tell you right now that Jocelyn, her birth parents, and us have benefited from adoption. That doesn't mean it was easy. But it has made our respective worlds better in certain ways. And while we can never forget that adoption is always comes from tragedy, it's like a phoenix that can rise strong and beautiful from the ashes of that tragedy.
So I just want all 23 people who follow this blog to know that I have a testimony of the goodness of adoption. It has brought out the best of so many people. We have seen an outpouring of true love from it. From our tireless caseworkers to the super supportive nurses in the hospital to a far too generous attorney...and the love and support of my friends like you. I just want you to know that...to remember that as you read stuff in the media. Just know that not all adoptions go sour. That not all adoptive parents struggle for love. That almost all adoptions are under the radar because they are so boringly normal and blissful.
We're lucky enough to be on one of those "successful plane rides." The kind you never hear about. It isn't newsworthy. It isn't exciting. But it is so good.