I have been living in a delusion for the better part of today.
It’s 2:30 p.m. I just got back from a trip to the ladies’ room where reality under fluorescent lights just won a major slap bet on me and took out her viscous retribution.
The well-thought-out outfit I was so proud of (a daring detour from my normal slacks and knit top) is not working the way I thought it was. The shoes are all wrong. The layers are not complimentary to each other. What I thought were sexy-Kate-Hudson-eque waves are just a matted mess of frizz. The expensive (well, at the grocery store) liquid black waterproof eyeliner I bought on impulse last night because my regular eyeliner fades by afternoon is still in place—yet it’s somehow invited my pale shimmery pink eye shadow down for a party, making my eyes look like they’ve been lined with glittery purple sweeps a transvestite would envy. It’s a mess. And then consider I’m under fluorescent lighting. It’s a mess times ten.
Thank goodness for cream to powder foundation and my secret lipstick stash. It’s the only thing saving me from myself at the moment.
Where is a rock I can hide under?
When is the clock going to strike 5:00?
When will I find the perfect eyeliner that will last at least the work day?