Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Walk With Gratitude Day 15 and Tired Questions

Bad blogger. Shame on me. Yesterday Justin got the nasty fever I have been sporting for a week and came home from work early. So naturally I put Joci to bed early, watched three episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then we both took shots of generic Nyquil (we’re posh like that) and hit the sack early. And by early, I mean 10:30 pm. Because that is early in this house.

So I am doing yesterday’s post today. And hopefully I will do today’s post later today. Hope you’re not tired of me yet, we’re only half-way through the month.

So today (um, yesterday) I am very grateful for my job. Yes, it’s a blessing to have a job, especially in this unsure economy. But I am very grateful for my job. It is really, really cool to be able to do something I love all day every day. It’s beyond nice to have a creative outlet that I get paid for. It is amazingly fulfilling to be surrounded by kindred creative spirits who just get that off-beat quirkiness that all us artsy-fartsy types seem to have. It is inspiring to have a boss who hosts creative extravaganzas like Waffestival and Lego building parties and sock puppet shows. Did I say extravaganzas? I meant meetings. My boss holds amazing meetings. Because they are always work related. I am grateful for a company that truly cares about its employees. I was too sick to attend, but last week I was awarded—in front of the entire company—a five thousand dollar bonus for being here for five years. At ten years, I get ten thousand dollars…at twenty years, yep, twenty grand. I am grateful for steady pay, for benefits, for predictable vacation days, all that jazz. I feel forever lucky to be where I am.


I was asked this question on Formspring:

Are there any adoption question you get sick of people asking you?

And my answer is…sort of?

I actually don’t get asked a lot about adoption in real life. Blogging is actually where I talk about it the most. One of the most frequently asked questions (when I do get asked—and it’s always by someone genuinely interested, not just flippantly curious) is about cost. And I totally don’t mind talking about that. When we embarked on the adoption journey that was a BIG question that loomed in our minds and I was always afraid to ask/talk about it because talking about money is “just plain rude” in our society, which I think is wrong and breeds ignorance which then breeds bad financial choices which is why I am trying to be more transparent about my finances in general. Take a breath. J

The question I get that kind of irritates me is when people ask when we are going to adopt again. I think the root of this irritation stems from my infertility and being asked for many years when we were going to have children. It’s not a question of a stork magically placing a baby in the nursery, it is far more complicated. I don’t get why people feel like money is such a taboo subject but asking someone about the progress of their intimate life is not.

So asking when we are going to adopt again is tricky. We would like to. I think we will. But it’s more complicated than just putting away the birth control pills. Timing is tricky because we never know how long/short the waiting period will be, there is a complicated financial aspect, the working mom/childcare aspect comes into play, plus the regular emotional stuff of “are we ready to do this again?” that all parents go through.

So, yeah, I kind of get tired of that question. 

1 comment:

Liz Smith said...

blegh! i LOATHE the "when are you going to have children" question. Like seriously, I tense up and get sooooo irritated when that comes up. 99 percent of the time i just want to say it's none of your d---n business. lol. okay....gonna breathe a little. I did laugh though because it seems you get similarily passionate/fired up about finances and when people don't like to talk about it....because i am one of those people that doesn't like to discuss it. I don't think it's necessarily because i don't want people to know what we make or that im embarassed by it cuz i am so not, but i think it's because i am a really competitive person and I would just rather not know because if i hear of people who are in our age group and make more i get all irritated. lol. it's sooo dumb i know, but i find that it's just easier to not deal with that subject. i can see your point though...one hundred percent. I think if you had to choose between talking about money, or your family planning, family planning wins in terms of how personal it is. granted, life would certainly be a lot easier if we were all equally open. lol.


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