I need to say that I am grateful for the opportunity to vote and this usually great country I am blessed to live in.
Also on my mind today...my issues. Which when I step back, I really am grateful for. I am grateful that none of my clothes fit because I've gained weight. Which means I have plenty to eat. I am grateful that all my areas are covered with crap - from my home to my car to my office at work - because it means I have possessions. Lots and lots of possessions. I am grateful that I miss my family and friends because it means I have family and friends to miss. I am grateful for the frustrations I have with my new camera and figuring out its settings because it means I have the means to get a fancy new camera and that I have wonderful things to photograph. I am grateful that I always have a to-do list that never seems to get smaller because it means I am needed and have purpose every day. I am grateful for dirty dishes because it means I have had plenty to eat - and someone to eat with.
Every problem I have comes from a blessing. I need to be more grateful and less whiny.
One of the hardest parts of the adoption process was filling out the paperwork on what we would accept in a baby. Gender was a no brainer. Race wasn't a huge issue, but we had to have some pretty blunt, honest, and brutal conversations about it. And finally - disabilities, genetics, and drug exposure. Everyone hopes for a healthy baby, right? We had a chance to ensure it. But is that fair? You can't ensure it with a biological child. Is it fair to do so for an adoption? You have to be so honest with yourself your limitations. Would you accept a child with down syndrome? A missing limb? Spina bifida? A genetic predisposition for bipolar disorder? Fetal alcohol syndrome?
Ultimately, we decided to rule out anything that wouldn't be an issue for us with a biological child. Like fetal alcohol syndrome. We don't drink, so that just isn't a risk at all for us, so we thought it was just as fair to request that. Along the same lines, we didn't rule out any kind of disability or genetic predisposition that could naturally occur in a bioligical child for us. Like down syndrome.
But it was hard. I felt like a terrible person at times. Can you imagine? What would you do?