Sunday, August 28, 2011

Am I Pretty?

Who hasn't asked that? Asked their mother, friends, boyfriend, husband? Asked themselves?

And who doesn't try to be prettier?

I do.

Hair color.
Hair style.
Clothes that flatter my body.
Zit cream.

I look in the mirror and in general I am pleased with what I see. I believe I am attractive. I am fairly satisfied with who I have become as a woman and I am not as hard on myself as I was as a teen. (Maybe that's because I am no longer worried about finding a husband.)

Yet there is still a lot of negative self-speak.

"I wish I could get micro-dermabrasion to take care of those awful acne scars."

"If only my nose were a little thinner."

"My braces straightened my teeth, then my wisdom teeth knocked them out of alignment. I wish I had veneers."

"I am not even 30 yet and I can see some sagging. I'm going to need a face lift someday."

"I wish my eyes were greener. I try to pass them off as green, but really, they might be more hazel. How boring."

"Why did I get that receding chin? If I had a stronger chin, I would be more striking. I wonder how a chin implant would look?"

"I don't think these saddle bags will ever go away. How long until I can afford lipo?"

"Life would be so much better if I could get electrolysis and never have to shave ANYTHING ever again."

Considering that I am pretty confident and satisfied with myself, I sure am judgmental and harsh. And who isn't? I don't know a single woman who doesn't think harsh things about herself.

Every day I am learning to be kinder to myself. To love myself unconditionally. For how can I show others that kind of love if I can't even provide it to myself?

Now that doesn't mean I'll be ditching my mascara anytime soon. And it doesn't mean I'll never admire someone else's brilliant green eyes. And I'll certainly fuss over my saddle bags for the rest of my life. I am learning the difference between magnifying what I have (which is ok) and resenting what I don't have (which is unhealthy).

To all the women out there who have ever wondered if you are pretty - even if I don't know you, I can say with the utmost confidence that YOU ARE!!!


Becca said...

I read this post and thought seriously! I was thinking how awesome you looked at church today and how craptastic I felt!

You are beautiful and made a nice sunshiny sunday!

kelley said...

Thanks Lara! We all need the reminder.
And you are too!!

Kirsten said...

Thank you! I needed that reminder today. We are all truly beautiful.

Rachel said...

You're such a hottie. And your nose! It's adorable! I have many a Sunday admired your cute nose. And all of your cute self. But yes, I get ya. Sometimes I wish I could gather up a little posse of people to follow me around and constantly tell me that I'm pretty. :)


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