Sunday, August 14, 2011

Infertility and Birth Control

I haven't been on birth control since 2001.

One of the "perks" of infertility. Birth control just isn't necessary. No weird hormones. No unexplained weight gain.

Last week I was complaining about periods to my sister Stephanie, and how unfair it seems that an infertile woman still goes through ucky, painful periods. Definitely a worthwhile price to pay in exchange for fertility and making babies, but since I can't make babies, I don't think I should have a period either. Makes sense, right?

My sister suggested I get an IUD, which basically eradicates them for years.

Hmmmm...why hadn't I thought of that? When I think of birth control, I usually just think of the pill, because that's all I ever used for a brief time right after I was married. While I may not need birth control for family planning, I could use it to offer myself some period relief.

I have been thinking about it a lot. And those with infertility/gynecological issues often have painful, long, very un-fun periods (opposed to all the fun ones, ha!). An IUD could control that for me. Very, very tempting.

But...

(There's always a "but" isn't there?)

I just can't.

Because my infertility is unexplained.

Because I am still in the height of my fertile years (aside from the infertility).

And if a miracle were to happen, I don't want to prevent it.

I don't plan on a miracle. My heart doesn't feel like it's been trampled by a giant in cleats every month like it used to. I've moved on from that constant yearning.

But I can't move on from the what if.

As lovely as a break from periods sounds, I just can't. Because, what if?

4 comments:

sara jane said...

Lara, I totally understand how you feel. I would be the same way. I hold on to smallest sliver of hope until I am sure the opportunity has passed. I just read an article of a woman who got pregnant after 16 years of infertility. I'm not trying to give you false hope, but I love that you look on the more optimistic side. :) You are so inspiring. Good luck in your search for baby #2!!! :)

Beckie said...

Totally Agree!! do wht is right for you!!!

Groff Family said...

Yes, "what if?" And to make you feel better, the IUD was awful for me, I hated every second of it, it was not good in my case. I know it works well for Stephanie and many others out there, but there are many others like me, who had a terrible experience. I bled for four months straight and had terrible pain until the dang thing fell out on its own. That's why we have Patrick, ha ha! Anyway, it would certainly be great to not have periods, but don't think the IUD will do that for you. It may, or it may make it like one giant never-ending period.

Whitney said...

I can relate to that darn "what if." We also have unexplained infertility. Lots of times I just FEEL so normal that I wonder if maybe someday it will work. Everything appears to be working, so maybe someday it actually will...maybe? I've thought the same things about that stupid monthly visitor. I should't have to pay the price if I don't get the prize. But I don't want to get rid of it because maybe...what if... Anyway, thanks for the post I understand what you mean!

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