I haven't been on birth control since 2001.
One of the "perks" of infertility. Birth control just isn't necessary. No weird hormones. No unexplained weight gain.
Last week I was complaining about periods to my sister Stephanie, and how unfair it seems that an infertile woman still goes through ucky, painful periods. Definitely a worthwhile price to pay in exchange for fertility and making babies, but since I can't make babies, I don't think I should have a period either. Makes sense, right?
My sister suggested I get an IUD, which basically eradicates them for years.
Hmmmm...why hadn't I thought of that? When I think of birth control, I usually just think of the pill, because that's all I ever used for a brief time right after I was married. While I may not need birth control for family planning, I could use it to offer myself some period relief.
I have been thinking about it a lot. And those with infertility/gynecological issues often have painful, long, very un-fun periods (opposed to all the fun ones, ha!). An IUD could control that for me. Very, very tempting.
(There's always a "but" isn't there?)
I just can't.
Because my infertility is unexplained.
Because I am still in the height of my fertile years (aside from the infertility).
And if a miracle were to happen, I don't want to prevent it.
I don't plan on a miracle. My heart doesn't feel like it's been trampled by a giant in cleats every month like it used to. I've moved on from that constant yearning.
But I can't move on from the what if.
As lovely as a break from periods sounds, I just can't. Because, what if?