Today, I was walking down the hallway in-between doing laundry and making dinner and constant clean up and I felt a small hand slip into mine.
"Hold your hand?" a small voice asked.
At times I can't believe that I have a precious little girl. She is my world. And it's moments like these that I know I am hers. She wanted nothing more than to slip her hand into mine and follow along with all the boring chores I was doing.
My heart just swelled. I thanked God in that instant for the gift of motherhood. Tonight in my prayers I will thank Him a little more formally.
And I thank Joci's birth parents. Without them, my world would be totally different.
Being a mother is a hard thing. I read a Facebook post today that listed the definition of motherhood as doing the job of twenty people for free. So true! It's hard work any way you look at it. I could never do it alone - and motherhood wasn't designed to be done alone.
Every mother is in a partnership. And I'm not talking about marriage. I'm talking about a sacred partnership with God. He allows his most precious spirits to come into our lives. So many times in the past 2 1/2 years I've questioned God's sanity for sending Joci to us. What have I ever done to deserve blessings so immense? Not only does He facilitate our motherhood, He helps us. Mother's intuition? It's just a little help from above. Being able to do the endless, thankless tasks - and actually enjoying them? Divine mercy, absolutely.
I'm lucky enough to have a more recognizable motherhood partnership with Jocelyn's birth mom. When I first heard about open adoptions, the concept seemed so foreign. But now that I truly embrace God's role in my becoming a mother, it seems so foreign to exclude the birth mom. We don't co-parent. But the recognition and respect I have for Joci's birth mom. I would not be a mother without her. Period. It's humbling. And I love her more and more every day for her gift to me.
Sometimes being a Mommy can feel isolating. But really, we are never alone in it.