Monday, November 7, 2011

Would You Cut the Baby in Half?

When I was a little girl, I loved looking through these illustrated Bible books we had. I always loved a certain story commonly known as the Judgment of Solomon. (From 1 Kings 3:16-28)

Two women who lived in the same household each had babies born three days apart. These women and babies shared a bed. One baby died during the night. These women each argued that their baby was the living baby and the dead baby belonged to the other. They took the argument to the wise King Solomon. After listening to both women's positions, he stated he had the answer. As with any property dispute, he would simply divide the baby and each woman could have half. He ordered his men to bring his sword so he could carry out his decision.

The Judgment of Solomon by Raphael

One mother instantly renounced her claim to the living baby. "Please my lord, give her the living child and in no wise slay it."

The other mother was satisfied with the judgment. "Let it be neither mine nor thine but divide it."

King Solomon then announced that the woman willing to give up the child to let it live was the true mother, and the child belonged to her.

King Solomon was granted gifts of wisdom and discernment. It is possible that he truly knew who the biological mother was in this scenario and just needed enough support for the public to agree with his decision. Or perhaps his wisdom transcended biology and he used this trick to identify the woman most capable of being a good mother - a woman with unconditional love.

Being a mom has a lot less to do with chromosomes and DNA and a lot more to do with love. I try my hardest every day to be a good mom. I am thankful for the ability to be a mom every day. I would not be a mom without adoption.

There is often a stigma about birth moms. They are messed up. Young. Immature. Selfish. Ready to get back to their "old life" and shirk responsibility.

So not true.

Every birth mom is like the true mother in the story of King Solomon - willing to sacrifice her claim to the baby in the best interest of the child. It is pure love. That kind of love isn't very common, so it might be hard to recognize.

This post has focused on mothers because I am drawing on the story of the two mothers with King Solomon. I don't think fathers are excluded from this. Jocelyn's amazing birth father - true father - offered the same sacrifice. And my husband is such an amazing daddy to this little girl. He is a true father, too.

How grateful I am for the true parents who put the best interest of Jocelyn above their pain, desires, and hopes and dreams. They didn't do it so I could become a mother and Justin could become a father. They didn't even know us - why would they? They did it for their daughter. And while we might label them as a "birth mom" and "birth dad," they will always be a true mother and a true father. Only true parents could ever sacrifice so greatly and love so purely.


Jennifer Steinmetz said...

Just love this. We are not having much luck on our own and so we're planning to start exploring the adoption process next year. I may need to ask you some questions in the future! I love your perspective on this.

Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal said...

I wish more people could understand what birth parents are really like! Thank you for this post!

Jewls said...

GREAT post! Loved this analogy!!

Life Happens said...



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