Own your actions. Expect anything you say to be repeated to the last person on earth you would want to hear it. Expect anything you do to be discovered by those you would wish to keep in the dark. Own your actions.
I've learned that lesson time and time again. Usually when I feel betrayed that someone has "outed" me on something I said or did. People wiser than me have brought me to the understanding that my actions and words truly are fair game, even if I say something in confidence or do something I think no one will know about.
Yesterday I ended up hurting someone. Completely unintentional. I relayed information openly told to me, although the person telling me this intended it to be in confidence. I cross my heart that at no time did she say or even imply the information was told in confidence. And I "outed" her to the last person in the world she wanted to know that stuff. I felt horrible. Just sick. I couldn't undo what I had done. I possibly damaged the relationship between these two other people and I am certain I killed the relationship I had with this other woman.
Self-loathing is not a good feeling and I was drowning in it all day yesterday.
A night's sleep brought me a little perspective. I still feel badly for what happened, and though I caused it, it wasn't my fault. Communication is always a two way street.
Doesn't make me feel any better about hurting someone though. *Sigh.*