Monday, March 5, 2012

I'm Adopting Again and I'm Scared

It's always scary to add a child to your family and permanently change your family dynamic. I'm worried about the "normal" things: Will I have enough time for two children? Will Joci adjust to being a big sister? How will our budget handle this? Will the baby be healthy? Will we be ready when she comes?

They say every pregnancy is different. Every adoption is different. It's naive to think otherwise. Still, it's not easy. We had a picture perfect adoption first time around. In state. Both birth parents involved and signing. Wonderful open adoption with healthy relationships with the entire biological family. Fabulous caseworkers all around. Awesome hospital staff that were very supportive of us and the adoption.

This time, everything is different. Things worry me. I'm not worried to the point of craziness or anything, but there are things that make me nervous.
  • This is an independent adoption. I don't have an experienced, professionally trained social worker holding my hand, making sure everything goes smoothly and acting as a buffer in all situations. 
  • We have to go out of state. Buying plane tickets around the birth of a baby is hard to do!
  • We have to stay in Arkansas for at least ten days. Ten days in a hotel room with a baby. Fun! 
  • This adoption is a lot more money. We will make it work, right? 
  • Our family is going to be multiracial
And the greatest worry of all:
  • Will the adoption go through as planned?


mrs. r said...

Oh man. I know these worries all too well.

Thinking of you!

Melissa Giles said...

I have never been in your shoes but I know everything will work out for you. God knows our struggles and helps us through them whatever they are. He is aware of each of us and what we go through whether we are scared, hurting, or unsure. But one thing is for sure, he knows exactly what we need and what will make us better people. Every situation we go through is for a good cause.

Shawn and Teresa Nilsson said...

No words
will answers your worries but I do think everything happens for a reason. What I can tell you is living in a hotel with a baby isn't that bad :). At least you'll be in the US!

Tamara ViAnn said...

We actually really enjoyed our experience adopting out of state. Trust me you can do 10 days- we did much longer! Buy one way tickets. We purchased round trip, had to reschedule and ultimately just had to purchase a new ticket home because we had issues that prevented us from leaving when we originally thought.

rochelle said...

Thinking of you and this exciting time for you! Can't say anything about out of state as all three of ours were in-state adoptions. As far as the multi-racial goes, you just get used to it. We didn't plan on bi-racial, it just happened and I'm so grateful and happy it did. I don't look at Sadie any different at all-in fact most of the time I forget she is of a different ethinicity. I will see a mom and a child who clearly are of different races out an about and think-they are so cute or be curious as to their circumstances, and then I will remember-I am the same thing! People are curious and will look, but it's really not a big deal. Congrats-so happy for you!!!

Rachel said...

But you're being so brave!


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