Noelle Kelly Malia Zierke
Born May 9, 2012
6 lbs. 13 oz.
19 3/4 inches
She may have joined the world five days ago, but the journey to get her here started long before.
We always knew we wanted more than one child, so we knew Jocelyn was just the beginning. But after her adoption, it took awhile to feel like we ready for number two. Most agencies won't let you get on their adoption list until your previously adopted child is a year and many adoptive couples--not knowing how long the process will take--get on the list as soon as their baby turns one. We talked about that, but the idea of it was too overwhelming. We were just enjoying our precious Jocelyn and recovering financially as well. We thought it would be perfect to add another baby to the family after Joci was three but hopefully before she was four. But it's so easy to plan these things, right? :)
So we made a plan. In January of 2012, we start on the process again.
That plan got derailed a little bit in the fall of 2010. In October 2010, my period was late. I have never had a late period. I don't think I even realized it until I was a week late...and I wondered if it had happened. Would I be one of the women who miraculously got pregnant after adopting? No...I didn't want to jump the gun and get my hopes up. I waited a few more days and took a pregnancy test.
Okay, no big deal. Been there before. I didn't really think I could be pregnant.
But a week later, I still hadn't gotten my period. So I took another pregnancy test.
A week later, I still hadn't gotten my period. Another test.
For whatever reason, I just entirely skipped my period that month. It has never happened to me before or since. But it did a number on my mind. I got so baby hungry. And I began to wonder if maybe I could get pregnant. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. That's one thing about unexplained infertility--the "what ifs" are never quite laid to rest. So I decided to give it the old college try again.
I could not handle fertility treatments again. I decided to go for a more holistic approach. I had gone to acupuncture before, and the practitioner told me that if I gave him six months he could get rid of my uterine fibroid tumors. My ob doctor said the only way to get rid of those was surgery and he said it wouldn't be worth the trouble--they weren't causing any problems and surgery could create scar tissue and create more problems.
I always thought that was weird--I have two large growths on my uterus and they don't affect my uterus whatsoever? I didn't buy it. So my acupuncturist said he could take care of them in six months. I wasn't sure how much I bought into that either, but I could give him six months and see.
After six months, I had an ultrasound. My doctor could only see one tumor and it was smaller than either of the previous two. He didn't believe my acupuncture story and said it must have been a bad ultrasound.
This news gave me a lot of hope and I thought I may actually get pregnant.
But I didn't.
All the emotions and infertility pain I had waded through before and put far, far behind me came back. It was devastating. I cried. I got depressed. And I prayed.
I got an answer.
The answer to my prayers was this: Stick to your original plan.
It reassured me. I stopped stressing about pregnancy and went back to my regular plan. We wouldn't think about adoption until January 2012.
To be continued...
P.S. Read Part 2 here.