Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Nip Slip Confessional

I was browsing through a celebrity gossip website slideshow about celebrity nip slips.

I rolled my eyes and said to myself, "You are famous and being photographed all. the. time. And you know it. Is it really that hard to keep your headlights under wraps? If I were a celebrity, I would never make that mistake."

And then I remembered...

Waimea Falls.

Oahu.

Hawaii.

2005.

And I had to get off my high horse.

Waimea Falls Park, Oahu, Hawaii

Because I have had a....nip slip. Shhh!!!

And yes...it was photographed.

No, I am not posting the photograph.

Waimea Falls in Oahu, Hawaii, is located in a beautiful botanical garden. You hike the garden and then find yourself at the beautiful freshwater falls and gentle pond below. It is common to swim in the refreshing waters - very refreshing after the humid hike and very, VERY refreshing in that it is not saltwater. It's tradition to sit on the rocks under the falls and let their waters rain down on you. It's a perfect photo op.

Justin and I did exactly that.

As we were posing under the falls while my mother took our picture, I suddenly looked down and realized I was having a wardrobe malfunction. I panicked, pulled up my suit, thinking the rushing waterfall had simply pushed my suit down. No. The strap had broken. In half. Please remember that were dozens of people swimming around us and waiting for their turn under the waterfall. This certainly did not go unnoticed. And please remember my mother was photographing us from the bank.

I used my hands to cover myself and dove into the water, and screamed. While treading water, Justin managed to use my hair tie to tie the strap in place so I wouldn't have to walk home naked (or covered by a towel).

After the incident with my MacGyvered suit


So now I have joined the ranks of Paris Hilton, LiLo, Tara Reid, Courteney Cox, Rihanna, Kirsten Dunst, Rachel McAdams, Janet Jackson, and dozens of other celebrities in the Nip Slip Club. 

I am grateful that my wardrobe malfunction was actually a wardrobe malfunction. And not because I was stupid enough to think that a plunging strapless dress would actually do its job in keeping things covered.


Now it's your turn. Dish. Have you ever had--or come close to having--an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction?

5 comments:

Ashley said...

Oh man... having suffered from gigantic boobulitus for about 13 years now (yes I developed suddenly at the age of 15, almost overnight) I've had my fair share of this mortification.

I wish it had just been a nip slip.

The worst was when I was out to a hibachi grill with my best friend and her family, bent down and my entire right boob popped out.

What was sad was I didn't notice. I mean, totally Janet Jackson boob out. Finally after several minutes my best friend grabbed my arm, shoved me down as though she was falling and screech-hissed in my ear "YOUR BOOB IS HANGING OUT."

I've totally lost my bikini top in front of people on numerous occasions (hence I wouldn't wear them again even if I were skinny enough to) and have had the delight of having a bucket of water dumped on me when I was wearing a white t-shirt in front of a guy I had a crush on who would never have paid attention to me anyways.

Ack.

I hate my ta-ta's.

Liz Smith said...

oh my goodness yes. SO embarassing. i came out of the pool once and my swimsuit cup did a flippity flip of sorts and well...let's just say it took me a good 20 seconds to even notice it. all of a sudden i look down and there she is. and my gals are on the small side, you would think would be able to stay put. guess they can always find a way no matter your cup size. :P i still don't know if anyone saw...i was too mortified to look around. though i did yell at jared for not telling me sooner. he "claims" he didn't notice. suuuuure.

Shawn and Teresa Nilsson said...

Argh! I was 14 and in a wave pool, the wave hit and knocked me over. As I popped out of the water my top popped right off- Right in front of two teenage boys!! I was beyond mortified :(

Vanessa said...

When my oldest was a very busy 18 month old I was holding him in the pool looking up and talking to my brother-in-law who was out of the pool. During our conversation my sweet, busy little boy completely pulled one side of swim top off. I quickly pulled it up and just kept right on talking. My brother-in-law and I have never spoken of this-but I don't know how he could possibly avoided seeing something. After that I went and bought a rash guard and board shorts and that's all I would wear swimming with that little stinker from then on.

Stephanie May Anderson said...

Why yes I have had a nip slip! Just a few weeks ago in fact. Dan and I were at the Herriman reservoir on a MONDAY night which means everyone was there for FHE. I had a tank over my suit bc my suit is now too small and it's just WAY more cleavage than anyone should be exposed to. We were getting dried off and I pulled my tank off and I kind of got stuck in my tank and felt a cool breeze on my chest and when I got all situated realize my very large breast had completely come out of my too small suit. Yes, there was a young family about 8 feet away from us.

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