Friday, January 18, 2013

10 Ways You Can Tell I Am Not a Celebrity

Even though  I am drop-dead sexy enough to be a starlet...



1. I own five pairs of shoes.
2. No one notices if I gain five pounds.
3. I am registered as a Republican and I own a gun
4. I have never eaten quinoa in my life
5. My vacations are in places like Island Park, Idaho, or maybe Las Vegas. I have never been to St. Tropez.
6. I only have 300 followers on Twitter
7. I arguably have the cutest kids ever and no one pays me millions for their pictures. In fact, I post them online for free (but they are so cute, I really could start charging money to look at them)



8. I have to wait in line
9. No one gives me golden, naked figures when I am particularly adept at my job
10. I wear underpants.


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